Land of Lost Humor
 (Archive 2)
Copyrighted Material - all rights reserved

Accidently hit an unknown button on remote..OMG, what did I do? How do I get the picture back!

Another problem with large capacity gun magazines- was that 157 shots..or 158..well punk, do you feel lucky.

My roofer went up with shingles and patched the roof. Later he came down with shingles and saw the doctor.

Nanotechnology allows Terminators to reconstruct themselves..so is life insurance still a worthwhile investment for them. Based on the last movie- Yes.

My new smart phone is my 'precious'..I'm thinking of keeping it in a safe deposit box.

Suppose Viking Gaskets Inc. bought the naming rights to Lambeau. Then it would be the Green Bay Packers playing at home at Viking stadium.

"Nice sweatshirt, so you went on a Windjammer cruise, huh?". Reply- "No, I went to a rummage sale."

Ancient Chinese, Mayan, and Egyptian written language was based on a symbol for each word.  Sadly, they could not make crossword puzzles

Dr. Frankenstein - Thanks to you, I got my life back.

Everyone pays homage to Christ when they write the date.

I'm scared my vacuum cleaner will explode..I mean, how much air can those things hold?!

I thought Jimmy was in trouble when he said he was making crooked dough. Turns out he got a job in a pretzel factory.

Nothing like a new jar of peanut butter. After an endless struggle to eek out tiny blobs of peanut butter which break up the toast, finally, plentiful gobs of peanut butter, so easy to spread. Hey toast, I'm still going to eat you.

I saw a double rainbow the other day- one pot of gold for me, one pot of gold for the IRS.

Thank you sub-conscious, for making me humm "breakin' up is hard to do..." (Neil Sedaka) while splitting wood. When I added the lyrics I had to laugh.

So at some point in the movie the authorities tell the protagonist "we need the truth.. no more games". So after the bad guys are defeated why don't they announce "its ok for games again, and you can lie a little bit too"?

Recent Halloween humor about vampires and Frankenstein removed because it was thought of while drunk.

Wind-turbines and wind energy machines slow the natural air flow and also the rotation of
the earth. They will result in slowing the earth's orbit and the earth eventually crashing into
the sun... resulting again in global warming.

The first time I took my older brothers racer bike(without telling him), I got going really fast
and to stop I only used the front brake.. didn't know there were two brake levers. The front wheel
stopped and I went directly over the front and wiped out. I continue to learn that same way today.

More Lost Humor -   Lost Humor Archive 02